Shutting Up

Why is it so hard for me to shut up sometimes?  The same question could be asked of others, for sure, but I am asking only as it pertains to me.  

Why is it that when I am pissed off, I can’t just be quiet and talk about it later?  Where is my submissive nature and desire to promote peace?  Absent.  

There are two channels that definitely contribute to my inability to stick a sock in it.

1.  Being Tired…a lack of sleep is my worst enemy.

2. Emotional Stress…we aren’t talking regular stress.  This is the kind of stress that is a direct result of dealing with stresses that concern friends and family…health,  safety and well being.  

With the kids starting back to school and some family concerns looming, I am not at my best.  

After failing to keep my mouth shut for the last time (there is only one last time every time….you just never know which time it will be), I got a lecture and 15 swats with the Chechen.  5-6 were of punishment strength and nearly made me cry because I knew I shouldn’t have argued.

I really need to learn to shut the chute and hum Christmas carols or something. 

Although, tonight a similar situation occurred,  but I shut up even while emotionally stressed and tired.  Hopefully it was recognized for effort and obedience.  No Christmas carol hum-along necessary.  

Once again humbled,

-Pink